DOG MENTALITY: A PHENOMENOLOGY

This morning when I woke up, saw a neighbouring dog making its usual trip around the compound and lifting its one leg performing ‘sue sue’ ritual at certain places. This is not the first time I saw the dogs doing so. I just remembered a documentary on tigers which I watched in the National Geography channel who also have the similar practice. Not that these animals have the problem of frequent urination, but in reality, these animals are marking their boundaries. And within this boundary, they are ‘the Kings.’

Tiger Marking its boundary

A dog marking its compound

A dog marking its territory

The ‘King Dog’ gets wild when a foreign dog or animal comes within its marked territory. Its individuality, supremacy and territory is now at stake. Even though the foreigner is much stronger than the owner of the place, still it gets enough courage and strength to chase the enemy away. The moment it goes out of its own boundary, it feels weak and at times trembles. But inside the boundary, it will bark, yell and is really the King.

Often times our fate is the same. We have our own marked territory, marked area of power, marked area to exercise our influence and strength. Outside this boundary we are weak and mumble. Though we feel King in our place when we get out, we are almost beggars and at the mercy of others (just like the dog puts its tail under its legs when it feels weak in front of a stronger one). What a paradox! What a pity!

King Alexander who conquered a greater portion of East, tells his fellow men regarding his funeral. He asks them to keep the hands dangle out of the coffin, because he wanted to tell the world that the person who conquered the world did not bring anything when he came and will be going empty handed when he dies. We build castles, kingdoms, territory in the form of money, power, influence etc., as if it is the Kingdom which we will be taking along with us when we die. When someone outsider questions to our territorial establishment our individuality shakes. We realize our own ‘self,’ we feel that we are ‘barking’ within our territory.

At times we compromise with ‘others’ for the territorial reason. It is wise thing to do when a stronger enemy is attacking, the king knowing its weakness,  goes for a compromise if not, one will lose even that subjectivity which one owes. However, is this compromise at the cost of other’s life and relation? Difficult to answer, but it is true. Directly or indirectly, one is affected by this relationship of compromise. It may also be possible, a few may again gain power and territory and a few may become victims of it.

However, everything is just a play. Just play and enjoy the game. If not watch the game, and enjoy. 

Raju Felix Crasta

Tat Tvam Asi as Cosmotheandric Experience

Among the four ‘great verses’ of Scriptures, ‘Tat Tvam Asi’ is one and is found in the sixth chapter of Chāndogya Upanis̟ad. It has been explained and commented by various Ācāryas of different traditions in different ways to suit the philosophy of the commenting Ācāryas. For example, śaṅkara sees from the kevala Advaitic tradition as,  ‘That Thou Art’ and says, ‘you are That’ and ‘That’ is explained as ‘Brahman’ and therefore, ‘You are none but Brahman himself.’ For Madhva who follows Dvaita Vedanta, takes grammatical nuance and says, ‘You are not That’ and therefore, ‘You are different from Brahman.’ However, almost all the commentators agree that this mahāvākya refers to the Supreme Reality and its relation with the other realities.

The ‘other reality’ here refers to the beings in the world. It can be human being or any other animate or inanimate beings. In other words it refers to the whole of cosmos. Thus the word ‘tvam’ would refer to the world of beings in the cosmos apart from the Supreme Being, Brahman.

The relationship existing between ‘Tat’ (Brahman) and ‘tvam’ (world of beings) is denoted by the word ‘asi.’ For Viśis̟t̟ādvains like Rāmānuja this relation may be expressed in terms of ‘collocation’ or ‘Samānādhikaran̟yam’ or like ‘body-soul’ relation (śarīra-śarīri relation).

This is the reason, I find, some advaitins speak of the entire Gītā in terms of ‘Tat-Tvam-Asi’ i.e.,  the relation between Lord Krishna who represents the Supreme Reality and the World Reality in terms of Kaurava and Pandava and their relationship with Krishna.

What I would see here is, a basic Cosmotheandric unity in the form of Tat-tvam-asi. Cosmotheandric would mean the unity between, Cosmos, Theos and Andros (World-God-Man). Basically there is a unity in the whole of cosmos which one cannot negate. Human beings cannot exist without relating with other human beings and other beings. The very fact that human being is existing on the earth, affirms that he is related to the earth. Further, for the survival of human being, one has to depend on the vegetation on the earth, air the atmosphere and so on. This is the relationship one has with other world of beings. Deep down again, there is a power or mysterious energy or mystery one is part of. This mystery is expressed in the word ‘Tat’ in the Upanis̟ad.

According to Madhva, the world of beings are not independent, they are dependent on the Supreme Being, though there is a visible dualism (dvaita) between them. It is only for the western philosophy, the dualism is independent of each other. For Dvaita, this dualism is dependent and independent of each other. The whole of world of reality is dependent on God for its sustenance. Thus, there is a basic unity and uniformity in the whole of ‘tat-tvam-asi’ concept.

Human beings, who are the crown of God’s creation, must experience this cosmotheandric reality to make the world a better place to dwell in. The whole reality of Tat-tvam-asi must be experienced in one’s life here on earth. The word used for experience in Sanskrit is ‘anubhava’ which comes from the root ‘Bhava’ which means ‘to become.’ One becomes or experiences the divine one-ness through knowledge, good works, devotion, good conduct and good virtues,  “Once you know that, you become that.”

In the  Upanis̟ad Ārun̟i tells  śvetaketu ‘You are That’ and therefore, it follows, you have to ‘become that.’  The background here is, śvetaketu has just returned from the Gurukul after 12 years of study. But has become proud, and thinks that he has learnt everything what one has to learn, but did not practice what he has learnt. Therefore, śvetaketu must forgo his selfishness, pride and live a practical life. He has lot of things to learn from the nature. This is expressed in the nine analogies given to him by his father. For example, father tells him to bring a fruit of the nyagrodha (fig) tree. Son goes and brings. Again the father asks him to cut open seeds and the son does. Then the father again asks him to cut the seeds which again the son does. What is being underlined here is, the ‘worldly experience.’

Every day we see miracles in the nature. Flower blooms, insects pollinate them and within a few days we see fruit. The seeds fall in the ground. ‘Lo and Behold,’ within a few days, there is a tiny plant coming up. We have no answer for the question, “How it came?” It is the divine plan. One has to see this miracle and has to admire at this. However, not just admiring, but be one with it and become eventually ‘That.’  This makes us to see everything as divine, God oriented and spiritual.

If one realizes, this, no doubt, one will make this earth, a loving home accommodating all the cultures, civilizations, faith, living and non-living beings, ecology and environment.

  

Raju Felix Crasta

I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!


With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Note:  I do not know from where I have received this story, but heart touching. has a beautiful message for all of us. The incident itself will reveal you the message. Read it carefully, meditate and reflect. 

Fr. Raju Felix Crasta

DIALOGUE AS A WAY OF LIFE

To co-exist in the pluralistic and multi cultured society like India where there are people of different way life, one needs to relate with the other responsibly and courageously.  The leaders of the society must give a true leadership in the spirit of building the community and not breaking it. Each culture has its own strength and weakness. Knowing one’s culture, religion and scripture in its real sense opens itself to see the other religious texts and practices in a constructive way. Once this is achieved, it enables the person to get into the other cultures and relish the goodness in it.  The fact that one is doing this, is already in “Dialogue.”

Starting point

To build any work, one needs to begin. The foundation laid on the rock, remains strong even though there is a strong wind and the foundation laid on sand will fall off even to a mild breeze. Therefore, what would be our foundation? There can be several foundations to begin an Inter-religious dialogue. It can be one’s experience, value systems, converging aspects, and diverging aspects. The aspects of faith, scriptural understanding, God, Ethics can also be strong starters. However, care should be taken by both the parties not to hurt each other. The dialogue becomes effective when both the parties can ‘laugh at each other’ when they make mutual criticism and thus cancel out the ill-feelings.

Learning from each other

Every religion is the seeker of Truth. Truth is that thing which does not change. In the core of every believer, there is a thirst for something which is unchanging. Every religious person is an advocator of this reality. My understanding of God begins here. In order to get soaked in this reality I engross myself in the Bible and Magisterium. This search does not end here, when I find it, I proclaim it to other, “Come and rejoice with me… it was lost and now I found it.” The second part of my life now becomes the ‘light and guide’ to others, that is ‘I live what I found and experienced.’

My thirst to ‘become light and guide’ cannot be complete without knowing the ‘other.’ And now I engross myself with the cultures of other, scriptures of other. When I see something converging, I pick it up and keep it on the lamp stand. When there is something ‘unbecoming,’ I critically evaluate it and if it is really causing damage to the community, I need to act against it. I think, the people who fought against the sati, child marriage, caste system, racial etc problems, is from this perspective. Irrespective of religion, the people of ‘good will’ supported this noble cause.

The two parties

Who engages in a healthy discussion? Only a happy person can engage a healthy discussion. ‘Happy person’ is he, who is having the mind of equanimity, love for the neighbor, self-less in thought and action and above all a real spiritual person. Such people only ‘give’ and do not look for ‘gain.’ If a person is looking for something for oneself, he is ‘unhappy’ person.

Now, the dialogue can be effective and long lasting between two happy persons, because they would like to give always. A dialogue between happy and unhappy person will also be effective but one sided and therefore, not healthy and will not last long. The third possibility is a dialogue between two unhappy persons and it will be like; ‘the blind leading another blind,’ both fall into the trench. The first dialogue will be non-violent and accommodative. The second will be partly non-violent and partly violent and the third, violent.

Why this Kolaveri?

In the olden days, people had no problem to have people of other faith in one’s neighborhood. But in the recent years, the trend is changing. Two reasons can be sited here: ‘Marketing’ and ‘Political.’

The rise of Fundamentalism is mainly because of ‘Marketing’ technique of religion. Each one wants to sell his/her goods with attractive shares. Here, the concern seems not the quality of interior happiness nor the Truth seeking, rather quantity of ‘gain.’ In such scenario, can a dialogue take place? Obviously, no.

The second reason can be the merging of politics with religion. Religion has become the handmaid of the political leaders. It is the power which handles the religion. A total separation of religion from politics will yield a better nation.

Challenges

Speaking to a philosopher’s gathering, Swami  Bodhananda expressed his views where one can learn from the other cultures. He said, “Semantic religions are clearly focused but are exclusive. Hindus are not focused but inclusivists. Christians are far ahead in social service, education and healthcare, whereas the Hindus do not have such experience.” The point is very clear, if one wants to have a healthy atmosphere, accept the other and support the other. It is true, that the Christianity stresses too much on structuralism while the Hinduism has the nature of flexibility. However, both are needed for an effective co-existence. One has to learn from the other. If I am a seeker of Truth, will it be possible for me to accept the other cultures and the revelation there? Will that revelation affect the revelation which I am already holding on to? Is ‘My Truth’ the only ‘Truth?’ It is very difficult to answer, but only a dialogue will enable to arrive at the consensus.

In fact this is a challenge before us, to make our world, ‘home,’ a home of love. Since we live in this home, are we not the ‘keepers of this home?’ In order to bring harmony in this home, we need to fight against the corruption, environmental degradation, Fundamentalism, poverty, untouchability etc. These can be real starters to begin our search for an effective and lasting co-existence.  In the establishment of this task, we can be truly called, the “Brothers and Sisters, Children of God, Sons and Daughters of the earth.’

Fr. Raju Felix Crasta